babies were throwing up all over the place
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
