I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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