Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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