Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
