my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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