You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There's always time for handjobs
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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