How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
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