If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
