Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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