Your tits are I can't wait for
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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