her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
