I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
