Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
