I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
