Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
