sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
