I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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