I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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