I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
