She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
