do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
