Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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