What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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