I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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