Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
