there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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