they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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