Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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