called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
