Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
