On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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