I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
