Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
