The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
