Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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