you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
