Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
