We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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