It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
cat food counts as protein by the way
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
