I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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