Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
