Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
