So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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