good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
