i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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