Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
