I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize