Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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