Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
