I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
