rhymes with "ouble enetration"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
