Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Someone came in the potted fern
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize