I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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