Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize