Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
