Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
