I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
