Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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