I looked at my own cervix.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
