I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
