Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
