From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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