Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
