i permit you to call me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
