Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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