White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
