i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
