He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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