That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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