ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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