so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
