I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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