I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
