i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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